I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
