shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
