Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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