dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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