Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
