I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
40s are totally the cure
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
