whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they need to just BURY HIM!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
