Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
