Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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