i barfeds in our rink
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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