i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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