That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
