Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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