whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize