She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
