i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
