If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
