fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
