oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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