Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
