Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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