We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
