is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well I just put wine in my tea
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
