she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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