apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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