You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Randomize
