Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
