I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
