her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
