hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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