Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
