Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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