dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
