I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
