gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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