my mouth tastes like poor choices
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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