i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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