I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
