I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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