Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
