My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
