So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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