watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
