high people should be assigned attendants
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
only you would photoshop your dick
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
