Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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