dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
