Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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