so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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