This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
