I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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