the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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