He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We had sex on a dog bed..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
