babies were throwing up all over the place
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you had me at cake vodka
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
