She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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