i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How does it feel to date your dad?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
