just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
