Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
