I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize