It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
