Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
