Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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