My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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