I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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