so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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